Ths IS who we are

Some samples from Twitter. I keep reading  "This is not who we are." and more and more when I do my inner voice says "No, this is exactly who we are, I just never noticed."

The immigrant experience of my family of origin is far off history to me. It didn't affect my life at all as far as I could ever tell.  For my husband, first generation on one side and only one more on part of his other, it hit home a bit more in that he wasn't encouraged to talk about being "Arabic."  He lucked out in that he "doesn't look Arabic" and so doesn't have to field the "where do you come from" question.

My kids are mutts but immigrant blood on every side.

Of course I haven't been totally immune.  I am a woman, pan and from NY ;-)  Plus I'm a loud mouth and pretty bossy, so not everyone loves me on sight. The biggest threat to me has always been being a woman.  I've been cat called, approached by creeps, emotionally beat up, but nothing out of the realm of "normal" experience of being a woman in the world and I always felt that women outside the US had it much, much worse. And I had a great dad, and an independent mom, which helps A LOT.

But now I know that it's not the random troglodyte who has awful views of immigrants, women, non-whites, poor people, anyone unlike themselves. And I have to admit that the country I live in now and the people I live in it with are like that and ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.  I've just been protected from it and because I'm white, middle class, live in the northeast, educated, married with kids, etc., I have been able to choose to ignore it because my life didn't depend on it at all, ever.

When I exclaim "This is not who we are." It sounds a lot like reacting to talk of racism with the exclamation "But I'M not a racist!" So the hell what? Do I stand up to it? Do I listen to the experience of friends and others unlike myself and without my ability to live in a bubble of safety?

I think the answer for me and for a lot of us is no. We haven't. We haven't stood up and fought for what we want America to stand for, how we want it to walk its loud big talk. To really be the land of the free.

It isn't. It never has been. It has often aspired to be but it needs our help. It needs my help.  And if nothing else good comes out of the Trump era, I hope it is that I will never take a seat again and live in a pretend country, or the world of only what directly happens to me.

I find nothing more sickening than hearing "I haven't seen that" or "I didn't have any trouble with that" or "that doesn't apply to me."  Cause you know what? Wait around, you're next buddy.

And yes--let me tell the truth--
I'm sick of hearing about Trump
I'm sick of reading the news
I'm sick of Congress
I'm sick of hearing about the latest hate crime

I want to do other things with my time.
I don't want to go to activism meetings and meet new people (BLEHHHHH).
I Hate calling my MoC
I don't like doing the work and still losing

Tough on me. It's time to pay the price for the cushy life I've had up til now. A lot less is being asked of me than the mother who has to fear for her child's life and safety every time they leave the house to grab a snack.

Enough lamenting, enough wishing this was not us.  Back to work.

A bit of a rant-maybe not what you expect [Trump trigger]

Another article on Trump voters that adds nothing to the conversation. I'm sick of this crap. How about we take a good hard look at ourselves?

I have lost a "friend" during the campaign but you see quotes there because in the end it wasn't her vote that made me unfriend her, it was how vicious and uncaring she was when we tried to talk about our disagreements. And I realized that all along she'd had a mean streak, it had simply never been directed at me. Why was that ok with me?

Most of the Trump voters in my life are, admittedly, only acquaintances but they are educated, politically informed, listen patiently to my bleeding heart liberal views and many have a more diverse group of friends than I do.

Really what it comes down to is the kind of people I choose to have in my life. No, I don't get how they were able to vote for Trump. I also don't know why I chose to ignore that someone in my life was downright mean and stay in that friendship until the meanness was turned on me.

Not a defense of Trump, just saying that like some folks I know who voted for him, I am perfectly able to turn a blind eye to bad behavior. And I'm not willing to toss folks out of my life for one vote when their actual day to day behavior is often better than mine.

Lastly, I'm sick of psycho analyzing Trump voters, which has no affect on what needs to be done now. My friends of conscience will, regardless of their vote, do the right thing when it comes down to it. If they don't, I need to look at who they really are, who I thought they were, and what value the relationship has in my life at that moment.

The frothing at the mouth ignorant bigots, I don't care what motivates them or how they got that way and I don't want to win them over. Fuck them.

Better to look at what I have or haven't done, who I choose to have in my life and what I'm doing to stand up for my ethics now, today, every day. I don't have time to waste making Trump someone else's fault.